about the Vanderbilt family

as the last post ended my family was looking forward to a week long camping trip.
(continued from the last post)

Five days earlier…

We arrived in Salt Lake City mid afternoon. We had left Puerto Rico that morning, and were not looking forward to the four-hour ride to Moab ahead. After collecting our luggage, and browsing around the airport shops for a bit, we piled into a grey Escalade rental. At this point I suggested food. You’ll find that the two skinny people in our group are always the most hungry. Go figure.

The group decided not to go into Salt Lake and add more time onto the trip. We would stop somewhere along the way. We caught rush hour, and were stuck on the freeway for a while, before we saw any food exits. Finally, we saw a sign for a Chilli’s and some Italian restaurant called Ottavio’s. We chose the latter, but only because we couldn’t find the Chilli’s.

Inside the restaurant, when we asked for a table the waiter asked for a name.

“Izquierdo.” Said my mother.
“Izq… what???” Says the host
“Um… just José” She answered back

After that we decided we needed to figure out how we wanted to be called for the remainder of the trip. It would make things simpler, and we wouldn’t have people butchering our last name for the remainder of the trip. My mom’s older sister suggested we use Vanderbilt as our last name for the duration of the trip. Everyone seemed okay with it, so it was decided. I was a little concerned at the beginning, but decided it would be hilarious.

We spent the whole of the trip referring to ourselves as the Vanderbilt’s. It was hilarious. We would go to public places, and just start saying things like “We Vanderbilt’s, blah, blah, blah.” Or “as Vanderbilt’s we should act like blah, blah, blah.”

Towards the end of the trip, my mother asked me what the big deal was with that last name. I found out the reason no one had questioned the name was because, most of them had never heard of the Vanderbilt’s. Those of us who had, thought it was really funny, that they had chosen this name unknowingly.

It didn’t matter, though. We couldn’t have picked a more appropriate name for us during a camping trip. We did many unVanderbilty things that week. Then again, I’m sure there were another many things we did that made us seem like true Vanderbilt’s.

The Vanderbilts go camping...

As our journey down the Canyon began, I was a little skeptical about the trip. I wondered how my family members would survive a five-day camping trip. I mean these people consider anything less than a four star hotel with a pillow menu, “roughing it.” Yet there we were, my mother, her siblings, my 65-year old grandmother and myself, loading up and ready to spend a week sans running water, electricity, or cell phones. We would be spending the week on a paddleboat, cruising down the Colorado River until we reached the Cataract Canyon rapids.

The night before we had met with our guides for a briefing. One of the guides looked like a crazy guru wild nature man. He was Polynesian, with dark skin and slanted eyes. He had a beard that came down to his chest, single white hairs sprinkled about the black. The other guide was blond and fair skinned. He had blue skinned and an enormous beard also. He looked like the Unabomber. Neither of them had shaved in months, they looked like cool people, but I’m a hippie.

When my aunt saw them, she whispered, “JR, are you sure this is a serious company?” My uncle JR was the one who had planned the trip. He had chosen the same rafting company he had used on a previous trip. He had insisted that we needed a five-day trip, to get the full experience.

Now, I’m used to traveling in comfort. As I mentioned we all are. However, having recently graduated from college, I’ve definitely had to travel on a student budget, requiring some less than stellar accommodations. Also, I was looking forward to getting away from all the craziness that has been my life for the last couple of months.

Still the idea of using a metal box as a community crapper for five days, was a little more than I could handle. Furthermore, I was sure various members of my family would have a meltdown….

(to be continued)

Have you ever eaten the perfect peach?

Have you ever bitten into a juicy luscious ripe peach?
Have you ever smelled the aroma of a perfect peach?
Have your senses ever been completely taken over by it?
Have you experienced the ecstasy of that first bite?
Have you ever had that precious nectar spill down your chin and mouth?
Have you ever tasted the sweet tartness of its flavor?
Have you ever taken it greedily into your mouth, hoping you could save every drop?
Have you ever sucked at it till it was dry?
Have you ever liked your fingers with delight after it was done?

It’s really hard to find a perfect peach in Puerto Rico. We don’t have great weather for them. My mother bought some today, and I ate one before I wrote this. The peach was okay, it was a little dry and clearly it had been picked before it was ready. When this happens they don’t ever get that incredible depth in flavor that ripe peaches have. The peach was fine. It’s hard for me to dislike a peach. But this peach was a little disappointing, and I remembered a peach I had a few weeks ago. I was in San Francisco, at the time, and I had one of those perfect peaches at my college roommate’s house. California has great peaches… Sigh….

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

I went to see Willy Wonka today. The original movie is one of my favorite childhood movies, so I was looking forward to this one. I love Johnny Depp, but it was difficult for me to see him as this character. He looks too much like the lady Michael Jackson turned into. This movie was a lot darker than when Gene Wilder portrayed Wonka, but it was to be expected from a Tim Burton film. I thought the oompa-loompas were great, although I kind of missed “Oompa, oompa, oompa, di, dee, do…” , but they did a great job of modernizing the music and keeping the idea of the songs.

I was a little disappointed because certain key scenes were eliminated or changed from the original movie. I haven’t actually read “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, however, so I don’t really know if this makes these changes are more in keeping with the book or not. The first missing scene is that of the spy from the other candy factory approaching Charlie and asking him to get some of the candy so they could steal the recipes. The next key scene that is missing is the signing of the golden contract with the tiny fine print. Wonka does not make them sign this disclaimer contract before they enter the factory, I found this kind of disturbing as Depp’s Wonka’s more Obsessively Compulsive and seems more paranoid than Wilder’s Wonka. The factory was pretty cool, very modern looking. The other thing that bothered me quite a bit is that they eliminate the scene where Charlie and his grandfather sneak the fizzy candy that makes them float. In this movie Charlie’s character is constantly good, and never has this slip of character to give him depth. He is unfalteringly ethical until the end. In contrast the other children are horrendous, but they were in the last movie too.

All in all, the movie was pretty good. It is a lot darker than the original and we go deeper into Mr. Wonka’s person than in the first. It also a lot scarier, a bit more violent than the first one is. I guess it’s just more in keeping with our times. It wouldn’t shock the kids now if it weren’t a little louder, a little edgier, more fast-paced.

Hispanics, Capitalism, and America

Spend some time considering the facts, and then come talk about the government spending money on translations into the second most widely spoken language in the world and in your country. The fact is that it would be to most Americans advantage to learn Spanish, not only because the population in your country is becoming increasingly Hispanic, but also for the purpose of being more cultured. This, however, doesn't mean that immigrants shouldn't learn English, of course they should. Nevertheless, the fact remains that they are the bulk of the labor force in many areas, and they don't have the means sometimes to learn English. You might also consider that they take the jobs that no one else will take, and they'll take a lot less pay for them. Why does the government favor them over other immigrants? Well simple, it is in the numbers and the circumstances. I agree that immigrants of every ethnicity should be treated equally, but the fact is there is no other immigrant population that comes close to having the range of the Hispanic culture, in America. The fact is that you can go into any city's immigrant areas and find quite a few people that don't speak English. There's a Chinatown in practically every big city in this country, and all of the signs are in Chinese. In the DC Chinatown, even the Hooters and the Fuddruckers had their signs made in Chinese also. I was in L.A. last week, and went through an area where I couldn't read a thing. Fortunately, the friend I was with spoke Russian, and we were able to find out where everything was. America is a melting pot of cultures, and as different cultures become dominant the government has to make adjustments and accommodate change.

Now I'm not in favor of budget cuts to schools; particularly, those that would bring about the elimination of any of the arts and music departments. I loved to study art, and I greatly resented not having access to it while I was in school. I hated that I wasn't able to take classes like figure drawing or sculpture. That's why I ended up taking them in college. It's unfortunate that the education and culturization of our youth can be diminished by the decisions of people whose kids don't attend public schools, but such is the way of the American government. This is simply the way capitalist governments work. It's the same with health care; those who can afford the best private health insurance establish the minimums for public health care.
The government's main concern is not the health of the masses. No, it's more concerned with the health of the pharmaceutical companies' stocks. An American friend from Indiana was explaining this to me.

He told that the whole point of a Capitalist form of government was that if you wanted more than the minimum, you have to work for it so that you can pay for it. It's the American Dream, you're supposed to make yourself from nothing, remember? So the government is only responsible for providing you with the minimum, and the minimum is probably based on figures and dollar signs, decided by people who can have the funds for the best available. If you want anything more than that minimum, if you want your kids to learn art or music then you can pay for it. Art and music aren't a necessary part of your children's education, anyway. They're optional and superfluous. A lot of people, believe they are a waste of time, anyway. When kids could be learning something productive, like advanced trigonometry or physics. Well you know what, I don’t really know that many people who are non-mathematicians that use advanced trigonometry or Calculus for the matter. I know I don’t remember one bit of Calculus and I couldn’t differentiate or integrate whatever it was that you differentiated and integrated, and I don’t think my life will be deeply affected by having forgotten this particular subject; regardless of what my high school calculus teacher had to say on the matter.

I will say this. I think it’s sad that people can’t distinguish Chopin from Mozart, or Rodin from Picasso. I think its even sadder still when I hear Americans ask why they should have to learn another language. I mean English is the most significant language in the world today, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only one or the most beautiful. I think it’s sad that Americans seem so closed minded about what the world has to offer past its borders. The problem I guess is that if Americans got more than a minimum education, maybe they would see that not everything is done better in America. I guess that’s exactly the point though, to have the mass thinking America is all there is. That way hey don’t have to worry about you getting ideas from those evil Socialist countries, who pay to much taxes, but provide world class educations and the best health care to everyone, free of charge.

AIM IM with Blackwatch356

1:40 AM

>so waddya do today?
-I've been blogging
-and you?
>all day?
-pretty much
-It was raining
>so lets get this straight. When people are targeting civilians and
blowing themselves up in Iraq they do so on the idea that by killing
their own people, they will show the world and the rest of the Iraqis
that the security level in Iraq is so bad that something must be done about it.
In this case, that something is to take away the official security force,
the united states. What will happen when the United States goes? unknown.
The inference is that the bombings are happening because the united states
is there, and therefore it is the fault of the US for not stopping the
bombs. So when people blow themselves up, they are in fact blaming the US
for not stopping them from doing what they are about to do. I think.
i just read another article about people blowing themselves up in iraq
and this is what it made me think of
-you know, you're definitely getting your own section in the blog
-Well isn't the U. S. fault?
>for blowing the people up?
-I mean, who else could be responsible?
-Obviously ALAh ISN'T?
>well course not
>except allah is both omniscient and omnipotent
-it's not like you can expect these people to have the ability to make decisions on their own
>right
>life is confusing
-how could you place such a responsibility on them?
>it would be a lot to ask
-it has to be the U.S. fault
>you mean US
-sure
-isn't it just easier to admit, that the US is at fault for everything??
>it does simplify things quite a bit
>i think thats my new away message
>i hope it pisses somebody off
-that would be great
>I am currently away from the computer.

1:50 AM

-huh?
>shoot
>it didn't set
-nope
-try again
>there hows that?
-um...
>thanks
-thanks for what?
>how much you obviously love it
-of course i do
>gracias
>i got to go back to work for a lille bit
>tty soon
-all right
-i'll go back to blogging
>so lets get this straight. When people are targeting civilians and
blowing themselves up in Iraq they do so on the idea that by killing
their own people, they will show the world and the rest of the Iraqis
that the security level in Iraq is so bad that something must be done about it.
In this case, that something is to take away the official security force,
the united states. What will happen when the United States goes? unknown.
The inference is that the bombings are happening because the united states
is there, and therefore it is the fault of the US for not stopping the
bombs. So when people blow themselves up, they are in fact blaming the US
for not stopping them from doing what they are about to do. I think.
i just read another article about people blowing themselves up in iraq
and this is what it made me think of
-ciao

Ahh, the discovery of the perfect away message. You usually have to give them so much thought.

TO MY PARENTS

Mom, Dad...

I wan't you to know that I have absolutely no idea, what being stoned actually feels like. I have never, ever in my life smoked a joint or tried any form of cannabinoids. I swear... Furthermore, I deny ever having tried any other illegal substance. Any reference to these in my writing are simply meantto give my narrator and the characteres color. I have used my friends accounts of their experiences with said substances as a basis of what a person might feel like under the influence of THC and other drugs. This said, I don't think I should get yelled at for any such references at any point in time, now or in the future.

Aso,I would love it if you wanted to share this site with your friends and the family. I do understand that you may not feel the content is always appropriate for all audiences. You know, like Grandma. Anyway, if you think anyone will be shocked or upset by anything on this blog, then just don't tell them about it. When I'm a famous writer, then they won't care so much.

Anyway, I hope you come back every time you can. Hopefully you'll post comments too. You have to press on the little pencil at the bottom of each post to comment. Also I don't think you can post anonymously so you may have to register.

I love you both,
Vane

Snapple, Food dye, and Leprechauns

My friend E just hung up on me because I stopped paying attention to him about 10 minutes ago. I was reading an interesting blog. I couldn't help it.

AIM IM with TheFrog.

4:08 PM

-you just hang up on me what's wrong with you?

4:10 PM

-sorry
-I can't help drifting off
/it happens...
/so
/whats in idaho
/potatoes?

4:20 PM
/fine
/dont talk to me
/see if i read your blog
-sorry
-i'm here
-estoy envuelta (translation: I'm entranced in what I'm doing)
/ill bet
/back to your blog then

4:25 PM

/that conversation was ok
/on to the brain

4:30 PM

/oh u drank a snapple energy drink!!!
/yea they have weird facts under the cap
-oh that's what that was?
-It was Snapple????
/yea
/it was snapple
-No wonder
/snapple ENERGY drinks
/they have fire / rain
/some other shit too
-I wonder how much damage that single drink may have done to my internal organs?
/when u see elements names on drinks
/its snablle
/snapple
-its probably corroding my cells as we speak
/yea the metal may have been rusty
/are u vaccinated?

4:35 PM

-THankfully I am.
-but thanks for your concern
/not really concern... more like curiosity... to see if i could traumatize by telling u what you could get
/ok?
-just stop
-I'm the daughter of a doctor you know....
/a brain doctor
-Yup
/what does he know about rust
-probably not as much as he knows about corroded brain cells

4:40 PM

/are they corroded by rust?
-no, by Snapple
/but didn't we agree it was the metal on snapples bottle
/I think Ill take the mind of 2pac
-no I think it was the Red #40, and the BLue #1
/ok that made no sense
-you know the food dyes
/what is green though?? #25
-There is no green
/oh ok now i got it
/there is green... they use it in st patricks day
-but green is just made out blue and yellow
-it might not have a number
/why is patrick a saint?
/thats a good point actually
/about, the green
-I don't know something about leprechauns and four leaf clovers??????
/do leprechauns go to heaven?
-I don't think they can die
/wasnt there a movie about it
-Leprechaun????
/yea!
/that one
-It was one of those horror flicks
/well did he die
-I haven't actually seen it
/or did he keep coming back like Jason
-Maybe they caught him
/maybe
/and stole the gold...
-you know you're supposed to trap the leprechaun
-exactly
-go visit the blog
-now you're a part of it
/im there

4:50 PM

-Lol
-guess what the next blog is.
/what?
-you're reading it
-or writing it
/ill sue
-you can't sue
/why not
-why would you wanna sue?
/jus for the hell of it
/who knows i could set a precedent
-Half the time people won't know if its you I'm refering to anyway
/change the internet law
-oh shut, up!
-you are not allowed to sue me
/maybe even get some money
-I'll punch you out.
/ill talk to my lawyer...

What the Hell is in Montana?

I'm on the phone with my my best friend E (Male. One of my best girl friend's name is also E. I'll try to alert you anytime they come up, as to which one I'm talking about, or maybe I won't. Who knows?) E and I talk everyday when he's off at college. We've known each other since I was in the eight grade, he was in tenth. Now, however, he's still an undergrad and I'm starting my masters after taking a year off. Needless to say, he is the smart one. Anyway, I think its better for my mental health if he stays far away and on my cel phone plan. For some reason we don't have the same amount of contact when we are in the same zip code. I don't know what to do about all the empty time. I might actually get to watch Law and Order with my full attention. Hmm....
Usually we call each other to keep each other company on our way to our actual lives. So when we're on the phone and both entranced by our computers, our conversations might simply be silence. Like today he was talking to me, and I was trying to half pay attention, but I really wasn't so he just shut up. He was IMing a friend a friend or something...

-What the Hell is in Montana? This actually got my attention.
/Helena...
-What???
/Helena!
-Helena, is in Montana.
/Helena is the capital of Montana. Not like Helena a person.
-Okay...
/Well, I don't know. That's all I know about Montana.
-Oh!
/Actually, I know something else about Montana...
-What?
/Montana has no speed limits
-What? Really? It has no speed limits?
/Nope

THen I said.

/You know. I think this conversation has to go in the blog.
-you're putting that in the blog?
/well, not the just thing about Montana. All of it is going in the blog.

Then I fell silent. Also I stopped listening.

I don't know everything else he said.
I mumbled something about how we should just talk online.

He said something, and then I heard

-Why don't you put that in your blog?
/Huh?
-I'm hanging up now. I'll talk to you on IM. THis is fruitless.
Oh! and remember to include this in your blog...

On Small Children and Drunks...

On Small Children

I was in San Francisco last week, visiting my roomate from college, and the topic of children came up. Now I'm not sure if we were discussing actually having children, people acting like children, or maybe we were just talking about drunks. Any subject could've triggered the following discussion.

- (She Says) I think little children are like drunk adults.
- (I Say) Okay. Keep talking.
- Well, both seem to lack the filter between thought and mouth. Also, they lack basic coordination, and the ability to realize their limitations.
- It's too bad that we can't all act like children then. Life would be a hell of a lot easier if people were up front about everything. And we put enogh limitations on ourselves as it is, would that we could forget them.
-Oh shut up, with your philosofical babble. You know I'm right.
-Okay. I you are, and I think it's damn funny.

Later in the week, i reach my seat on the flight back home, and find a lady with a baby in a carseat who will be sharing my row on the flight back. I try not to think about what a horrible flight this will turn out to be, and continue reading from -My Horizontal Life-. One of the funniest books I've read in a long time. Its about this woman's one nights stands and sex stories.

Anyway, I'm laughing out loud so much, the lady asks me what I'm reading. We spent the rest of the flight chatting. Eventually the topic came to her children, she has a two year old and a 6 month old. Did I mention she was travelling with both her children... Sounds awful, doesn't it. A flight full of noisy rugrats. Now, I have nothing against children, but I don't think we should have to be subjected to them in the air. There's too many other issues to deal with. Like the fact that American, eliminated their "more legroom in coach". Apparently, no one was willing to pay for the extra two inches. This wouldn't have been an issue if I had flown Jet Blue. By the way, if you were wondering, neither of these children made a noise on this flight. There was also a dog aboard, and no one heard him either. But, I digress.

We came to the topic of toddlers and I told her about my roomate's theory about drunk adults and little children. She laughed and had to agree, then went on to recount some of her toddlers escapades, those making her seem like a little drunk person.

We also spent some time discussing a baby's first fall. You know the one when you left baby in the middle of the bed, because he/she couldn't roll over. You turned away for just one minute, and BANG!!! WaHHHHHH!!!!!! They choose that moment to learn rolling over.

Or maybe you left them really far back on a chair, playing with something. Of course, said something falls, and right after goes baby.

Anyway, apparently it happens to all parents. Now, I haven't actually had the chance to test this theory on any of my own offspring, because I don't have any, but I'm sure I will someday...

AIM IM with Blackwatch356*

This is what friendships devolve into, once you're in your post collegiate years....

5:02 AM

-go my blog when you get the chance
>I am currently away from the computer.
-somestuffandotherstuff.blogspot.com
>it says your a sexaholic
-huh???
-what?????
>dragonfruit is native to taiwan
>probably other places to, but they have it in taiwan
-well, i think you should post that as a comment
-maybe tell me more about it
-if you know anything
>its dragony
>but not really
-ahhhh
>being john malkovich was a freaky movie
>i loved it
>it was a cute article
-i hate that you used the word cute to describe anything i write
>this blog does not allow anonymous comments???!!!
>i do not!!!
>when did i use cute?
-but i'll take it as a compliment
>when have i critqued any of your writing lately?
>i mean i haven't seen you in a year!!!
-i didn't mean that
>and i definitely didn't call your dante paper cute
>i don't think
-i meant in general
-i don't think i want to sound cute
>you never came to a conclusion for whose brain you'd want
>how do you want to sound?
-its kind of gross don't you think
>i don't know
-witty, or crazy or something else
-not cute
-btw, you should know this is going in conversation is definitely going in the blog

5:10 AM

>cool
>lets talk about sex
>to be cute i think there has to be some wit
-you're a nut
-i want my parents to be able to read this
>crazy.....do you mean like random?
>oh - if they are gonna read it then vane, control yourself
>no dirty sex talk
-so lets keep it no more than R rated, okay??
>thats what i'm saying
>sheesh
-lol
-is it bad that it's 5:15a.m. and I'm still up???
-I've been blogging since 12, when I got home from poker
>did you make money?
-I did good today. It was a 400 person tourney, and I placed 20
>nice
-no it wasn't for money
>charity?
-but I get points for the month, for ranking
-no for prizes
-they have one every tuesday and friday
-and then they take the top 20 from the month and do a big one
-with trips and stuff
-finally the topped ranked player this year gets sponsored in the WPT
>oooh
>then you can be on tv
>so mainly holdem?
-only
-should go to bed...
-ttyl

5:20 AM

>lata vane
-ciao babe

*handle has been altered to protect users identity. You'll thank me later Sam...

If you could have someone else's brain, whose would it be?

So, I'm in this copy place today, waiting around for them to get done with my friend's order. I hadn't had any food all day, and I'm near the point of fainting, when I spotted a drink fridge. I don't really drink anything that isn't water or natural, so I wasn't really going for anything. Then I spotted ENERGY (mind fuel). The packaging was great it was metal, shiny, red, and pretty, so I just had to have it. The names of the drinks, were Meteor, Sub Zero, Fire. I went for fire, it was supposed to taste like dragonfruit. I don't know, I've never actually heard of dragonfruit, but the ingredients said it had dragonfruit puree in it, so it must be a real fruit, right? Anyway, it sounded delicious and health be damned, I needed some sugar. Needless to say, it tasted pretty disgusting, kind of like a red lollipop, but not actually any of the good brands, some generic one. However, when I looked at the underside of the bottle cap, you know you always check to see if it says something under there. What if you win something? That's always what I think, maybe its a contest, maybe I'll win something. Usually however it says some crap about Nantucket or something and I'm disappointed. Today, however, i felt like I won in the end. It could've been that I was pretty stoned at the time, but this question got me to thinking...

The bottle cap said: If you could have someone else's brain, whose would it be?

Well I didn't actually think so much about the answer, I was too caught up in figuring out the question itself. THis question is rather vague, don't you think? I mean, think of the possibilities.

Is it refering to some sort of brain transplant? I mean do I lose my brain in this equation? Do they give it to me to keep in a glass container, you know as a paper weight? Does that other person get my brain, or is my brain simply disposed of? If my brain is disposed of, what happens to that other person's body? Is it also disposed of, or does he get someone else's brain?
Say its an equal trade, when both parties get a brain and a body? Will it be me in that other person's body, and them in mine? If so I may want to know more about the body. I don't just wannt move into some body that's in worse condition that mine. Maybe I wouldn't ven care so much about the brain after all, maybe its like instant plastic surgery. Someone will always get gipped in that case don't you think, if they get the body you didn't want? If it's not you in that person's body, then who is it? and whose in your body??? Do we both cease to exist, and two completely new people turn out? If I cease to exist, then maybe I don't want to change brains with anyone. I just might want to keep my own.

Maybe its something like being John Malcovich, you get to go inside someone's brain, a portal into a different reality, an observer in someone else's thoughts. That might be interesting. maybe I would try that. I might give this question some deep thought if I thought I could get to see inside of the dalai lama's brain, or maybe Jesus Christ's brain. Although, I don't think I could get his, even if it was available. I don't think we could use a dead brain. I think you may there may be a live brain requirement. I mean, if its not a living brain, it doesn't seem like it would work. Then again, maybe the Egyptians were onto something by removing the brains of their dead, maybe they didn't want their brains available for a reason...
There are a few other people whose brain I wouldn't mind viewing more at length. I wouldn't mind going through Robin William's mind, it just might be fun... WHo knows what could lie in the recesses of his brain. I'd also love to know what goes on in George W.'s brain...I can't imagine what I'll find.

I've always thought of the brain as some sort of hard drive, so maybe you could just plug it into a computer and you can access different programs, you know you can go to: GAMES, and you know you can access Tetris, (for all of those of you who had the original Gameboy from Nintendo. You know you even had dreams about Tetris. Maybe you had nightmare's from Tetris, you know you couldn't make any lines, and the stack just kept creeping higher and higher, and the game kept speeding up and AGHHHHH
!!!!!!!!! Sorry, maybe I got a little carried away there.)
There will also be a folder labeled, desires and fantasies
Yep! It's the porn section. Hmm....Maybe it even comes with VR... That could be fun. Although, that might be a traumatic experience. It all depends who you pick. I don't think I 'd wanna go through some peoples sexual desires folders, what if its gross. Imagine having to see Bill and Monica in action. WHo wants to see that! Ewww.
It might be really interesting to see the individual programs you could access, particularly in those minds that have indulged in too many controlled substances. I won't get into those, you I'm sure you can imagine your own. Depending on who you whose brain you plan to acquire.

That brings me to something else. Do you get to control that brain? I mean do you get to make the person do whatever you want them to do? Can you change their thoughts, control their emotions? Maybe I might choose one of my parents, I could make them continue to support me indefinitely. Maybe not, what kind of a loser do you think I am anyway? I could choose my ex, everything was perfect between us, except for the fact that he had a mind of his own. No. That's thinking too small. What about Bill Gates, you could get him to will you everything. You know who else, Paris Hilton, you get some money, and you could make her do funny, outrageous things. Actually, maybe somebody already got hers....

Or maybe the question refers to just getting a brain in a jar, as a keepsake. You know you can place it on your mantle piece and brag about it to your friends. In this case I think it would be nicer to choose someone whose already dead. Think about your reaction if someone came to take your brain while you were still alive. You might not like that. I most certainly wouldn't.

This brings me to one last point. Could this someone be anyone, or is it limited? Are you limited to a certain pool of brains, like say NObel Prize winners, Celebrities, or is it limited to the people in my immediate circle of people? Could it be someone I met once, and I can't quite remember their name? Would they find this person for me? Would they appear out of thin air just because I chose them? What if this person doesn't want you to have their brain? Are they given a choice? Can they refuse, outright? Do I get a refund if they refuse? Could I get more than one brain? Could they all be plugged in together? Do you think they would give me a group discount???